truths about Valentine's day

I think there's a lot of truth to Valentine's day. I think there's a lot of commercialization in the and it is in fact, a Hallmark Holiday. So, childrun, I thought I'd share my thoughts with you on the eve of the big Heart-On holiday. Here's what I believe:

i dont know if i believe in love

i believe in cold sores, and coincidentally i believe in herpes as a by-product of passion

i believe you can pay too much for a steak dinner (steak doesn't make me feel particularly romantic or horny as much as it does full and bloated)

i believe that there's no way a dozen roses costs $100 (and roses make me sneeze)

i believe that the greeting card industry makes millions of dollars on couples but the spirits and wine industries make double in the single market

i believe chocolate is the way to my heart- but only if you are a chubby chaser will this work out in the long haul

I believe that we all want to be in love and probably need to be in love for chemical reasons in the brain (some people need this more than others)

I believe love changes as you get older

I really believe that I just need some one to believe in me and as much as I believe in them... I believe that is the definition of love

Sidecar: you might wonder how a little number like mamma got away? well, children, I ran like hell from love, and now nobody is chasing me.

Tell someone you love them. If you really do, good for you. If not, you both deserve a little nookie on valentine's day.

in repair

so sorry, childrun, that I've been away. I'm like that mother that leaves her kids locked up in the Walmart parking lot with the windows up in July... I was traveling for work. Pushing my goods to the streets. And, I fell ill. I am in repair now, so I will be with you shortly.

inspiration

Last night I went to a superbowl party. I ate my way through it. Then when I got home and took my clothes off I was marked (again). It was like the equator around my waist. It was the sign of demarkation- carbs vs liquor- hemispheres... there's a reason it's called fat and happy.

Tonight I ran on the treadmill... I got to 3 miles- only because I pretended there was a bucket of fried chicken on the other side of the room.

More rules of travel

Honey, I have come to the realization that my company hates me. In actuality they are just... how do you say this delicately because I do want to keep my current employment? Cheap ass-es? How bout that one. I flew out to the Tundra also called Minnesota for work. I don't know why anyone in their right mind would want to live anywhere with all this snow and no film festivals.

So I am crammed in the airplane tighter than tuna in a can. Then I get a rental car- of course it's a Hyundai, or a Kia some kind of car that isn't spelled normal- just a bunch of letters that mean cheap in Chinese or Korean. I check into the hotel - with like 4 feet of snow in the parking lot and proceed to ruin my new shoes. Then I get my room and I kid you not there is NO WINDOW. I think how is this not a fire hazzard? The window is like a porthole in a submarine. I could never jump out of it if I needed to. Yes, these are the things I think about right before bed, very relaxing.

I wake up this morning and when I am trying to pat down my weave and put on my face, I find the light in the bathroom is burned out. Now, a normal person would call the hotel but I had no time, I was already late and standing there dripping on the tile-ish floor. So, I hope my wig is on straight.

From now on I wish they'd just UPS my ass from place to place. It would save a lot of time and inconvenience. Of course, they'd probably insist I go ground...

Childrun,

Momma is so sorry for the neglect. It's not like I left you alone in the parking lot of K-mart with the windows up and the doors locked in July, but it was almost as bad. Momma has been out pushing the cart and making some paper. It's hard being a single working mother. And that doesn't mean I have kids... I'm on the road for the next 3 weeks so I'll be typing to you out of my Samsonite while I unroll my support elastic waisted pants and steam them in the shower.

And I want to mention the grammys. That Pink lady is something else, I tell you. I felt inspired, I ripped the sheets off my bed and threw them over the ceiling fan. However, it wasn't exactly the same experience. Of course, the tequila made it better.

I leave you with this nugget so I can go change the clear baggy for my fluids and gels at TSA - they all talk shit about my Christmas theme ziplock baggy....A friend of Momma's told me this one:

The real reason that I'm drinking Shiraz tonight? I took a quiz on heart health over the weekend, and it turns out that I'm doing almost everything exactly right. There are only two things that my results said could do better: (1) I should lose weight, and (2) I should actually drink MORE red wine.

I decided it would be easier to drink the wine. :-)

be careful where you knock

So, I had settled in to watch the Vampire Diaries- my favorite teen vamp drama. I like to turn off the lights because it makes me scared and adds ambiance for the romantic-al scenes. I love some vampire loving. Anyway, I had opened my bottle of Cab and was eating my Peiwei (american-chinese). It was just getting scary and then I got a knock at my door just beside my tv. (This is the SIDE door not the front door of my house). Let me tell you I about jumped out of my skin. I was scared it could be a vampire, then I was really excited it COULD be a vampire...

Well damn it, it was some kid wearing an AT&T jacket telling me he was here to sell me AT&T television services. He proceeded to tell me that I could save money, blah blah. Keep in mind my tv is still on and the room is dark as night. I was a little uncomfortable talking to him but glad I had on respectable clothing rather than my robe which had been my first instinct. Ok, so then he says: "what channels do you get?" All of the sudden apparently the vamps decided it was sexy-go-time and I hear some moans coming from my tv. So, I am laughing and said, "well obviously the dirty ones."

on a serious note

my heart is heavy for the people of Haiti and I am amazed as I watch the continued coverage. I know it's been days and I feel like I shouldn't blog about something trivial. I don't have a lot of followers but I hope that everyone is giving what they can and realizing how lucky we all are. I am inspired and hopeful that you and I can make a difference with every $10 we can spare.

We live in a time of changing political climates and uncertainty. I am reminded that only the basics matter- I made a list of things I think are important. Please feel free to share:

Wouldn't it be nice to live in a country where more money is spent on education that war?

Wouldn't it be nice to live in a country where farmers are valued more than lawyers?

Wouldn't it be nice to live in a country where responsibility is rewarded more than greed?

Wouldn't it be nice to live in a country where health isn't influenced by profit margins?

Wouldn't it be nice to live in a country where health is subsidized more than auto makers?

Wouldn't it be nice to live in a country where rights for minorities don't have to be voted on by majority?

Wouldn't it be nice to live in a country where violence is more taboo than nudity?

Wouldn't it be nice to live in a country where the future is more important than past grievances?

Wouldn't it be nice to live in a country where we strive more to understand each other than to be understood?

Wouldn't it be nice to live in a world where we help each other, unconditionally, not just because we are all equal but because we can?

Don't forget tomorrow night is a telethon. What you give away comes back to you someday- that's what I always like to think.