Saturday, February 13, 2010

truths about Valentine's day

I think there's a lot of truth to Valentine's day. I think there's a lot of commercialization in the and it is in fact, a Hallmark Holiday. So, childrun, I thought I'd share my thoughts with you on the eve of the big Heart-On holiday. Here's what I believe:
i dont know if i believe in love
i believe in cold sores, and coincidentally i believe in herpes as a by-product of passion
i believe you can pay too much for a steak dinner (steak doesn't make me feel particularly romantic or horny as much as it does full and bloated)
i believe that there's no way a dozen roses costs $100 (and roses make me sneeze)
i believe that the greeting card industry makes millions of dollars on couples but the spirits and wine industries make double in the single market
i believe chocolate is the way to my heart- but only if you are a chubby chaser will this work out in the long haul
I believe that we all want to be in love and probably need to be in love for chemical reasons in the brain (some people need this more than others)
I believe love changes as you get older
I really believe that I just need some one to believe in me and as much as I believe in them... I believe that is the definition of love

Sidecar: you might wonder how a little number like mamma got away? well, children, I ran like hell from love, and now nobody is chasing me.

Tell someone you love them. If you really do, good for you. If not, you both deserve a little nookie on valentine's day.

in repair

so sorry, childrun, that I've been away. I'm like that mother that leaves her kids locked up in the Walmart parking lot with the windows up in July... I was traveling for work. Pushing my goods to the streets. And, I fell ill. I am in repair now, so I will be with you shortly.

Monday, February 8, 2010


Last night I went to a superbowl party. I ate my way through it. Then when I got home and took my clothes off I was marked (again). It was like the equator around my waist. It was the sign of demarkation- carbs vs liquor- hemispheres... there's a reason it's called fat and happy.
Tonight I ran on the treadmill... I got to 3 miles- only because I pretended there was a bucket of fried chicken on the other side of the room.