Who didn't want that life? The family drama? (Wow, this does hit close to home) Except, I never got that yellow Mercedes convertible and I shy away from sequins.
The old gardener is now the adopted Ewing... bored. Is it just me or is this one dull? I say... Not enough Sue Ellen and JR. I know they are geriatric but for God's sake give them an Ensure and Depends and get em on the damn show! That's what I want to see. I don't want to see Bobby Ewing have cancer- that shit is too real. Unless next season he is in the shower and Old Pam is back and it's all a dream? Take a note writers: you can save this shit, still!
And, what the hell is going on with Larry Hagman's eyebrows? Do they have hair and makeup people? I know it's TNT but damn. Imagine if this show was in 3-D Imax. You would literally be ducking from those eyebrows.
<--check this shit out
Lastly, is it just me or does SouthFork need some serious renovations? It doesn't seem like it is nearly as grand as it was in the 1980's but it does still have those 80's-tastic yellow awnings. That house must get a ton of direct sunlight to require so many awnings. Get with it Ewing family- plantation shutter that shack up! Remodel- blow out a wing. I want to see a pool with a rock grotto treatment. This house looks dull. You are billionaires! The interior shots look like any given model house in suburban Los Angeles- not the good parts- the Valley! Wisteria lane was ballin' more than you!
Even when they cut away to the young Dallas cast- they live in what appear to be hotel rooms. What? You are billionaire kids and you live in a hotel? I got family members who stay up in the Holiday Inn Express and Extended Stay but I don't brag about it!
Someone, please Help
I need the 1980s glamour back. We need a cat fight in expensive clothes. Get a gay HGTV decorator to fix that house up. Wax and trim Larry. Let's get this on point. I don't want my memories to be jaded. We need to aspire to live BETTER and hate people who have more money than us, but love that they fight all the time and are secret alcoholics with evil twin sisters who are carrying their husband's illegitimate baby. This is what we are missing America!
Who SHOT JR? That was real tv. Do it again. Bring it back- but this time tazer his old ass. He can take it just watch those eyebrows they could go up in flames. That's all.