Wednesday, August 25, 2010

well, good morn-ting to you

So, Mama has been on the road. I swear my life has turned into that movie UP IN THE AIR with George Clooney, minus the sexiness. No, sadly, I have no affairs in my road trippin.

But I thought I would die this very morning. I decided I should go downstairs to the lobby and work out. Only all the machines were taken at 630am by the really fit people. I am not so fit, just guilted by the pasta and decadent chocolate cake i ate last night. So, I give up and did some stretches. I discovered, am also not limber and feared I had split my pants.

So, I gave up and went to the pantry to check out the breakfast selections. I settled on a diet coke and a pack of Big Red for breakfast. When I got back upstairs to room 1501- I put my key in the door.... nothing. Well, damn it I have to go all the way back downstairs? No ma'am. Try it again, and again and cuss a little. That always helps.

Suddenly, a rather irritated lady opens the door wearing a teeshirt that is down past her thighs. "Can I help you?" she looks at me with a stern look as though she might just beat the shit out of me right there in the hotel lobby. I realize I only have diet coke bottle to protect myself and say, " oh, well good morning. I guess this is your wake up call. Sorry, 3 hotel rooms in 3 days, I must be lost. Have a blessed day.." and the door slams.

Yes, I said have a blessed day? WTF? I don't bless people. Am not pope. Am non pope-ish. Am not Catholic. Turns out I am in room 220. Room 1501 was the night before. whoops