be careful where you knock

So, I had settled in to watch the Vampire Diaries- my favorite teen vamp drama. I like to turn off the lights because it makes me scared and adds ambiance for the romantic-al scenes. I love some vampire loving. Anyway, I had opened my bottle of Cab and was eating my Peiwei (american-chinese). It was just getting scary and then I got a knock at my door just beside my tv. (This is the SIDE door not the front door of my house). Let me tell you I about jumped out of my skin. I was scared it could be a vampire, then I was really excited it COULD be a vampire...

Well damn it, it was some kid wearing an AT&T jacket telling me he was here to sell me AT&T television services. He proceeded to tell me that I could save money, blah blah. Keep in mind my tv is still on and the room is dark as night. I was a little uncomfortable talking to him but glad I had on respectable clothing rather than my robe which had been my first instinct. Ok, so then he says: "what channels do you get?" All of the sudden apparently the vamps decided it was sexy-go-time and I hear some moans coming from my tv. So, I am laughing and said, "well obviously the dirty ones."