Sunday, June 27, 2010

one size fits most

So, I had to go this wedding chuldren. I didn't have a thing to wear - I mean no- thing. It's a summer wedding. And wouldn't you know it started to pour rain just as they walked down the aisle pronounced man and wife. Well, they tell me it's good luck. Good luck that no body got that Vera Wang dress wet. That'd been one mad lady, this much I know.

So, here I am trying to find something for this wedding. I like to call weddings: tramp'n'ho retirement parties. When you decide to trade in your diaphram for a big rock, time to hang up those disco shoes and start hitting the vino. But back to the case at hand.

Honey, I decided to go shoppin in my closet. Have you ever done this? I found that I had so many things I had forgotten. Sadly, this new store found in my own house was wonderful but, baby, they just didn't have much left in my size. And that bitch who works there was hateful. But, at the end of the day I was happy I saved my chubby ass from spending money on fat clothes. Because let's be honest, bigger clothes are the gateway to elastic pants and lonely nights.

Much love

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